Kensington Stories

Lifelong Resident Ron Lopez posted a very poignent and funny Top Ten List on his blog Kensington Stories.

Top Ten Reasons why Kensington is better than Park Slope
10 Instead of the Pavilion, we have the Kensington Post office, and the shows are free every day.
9 If you loose your job as a television comedy writer, you can start your own construction business by simply walking to McDonald Avenue at eight in the morning.
8 You’ll always be able to walk off your meal from the nearest nice restaurant, because it’s not near at all.
7 When you shop lift at Golden Farms, you can immediately gain celebrity status by having your Polaroid taped to the cash register.
6 Our calves are smaller because we don’t have to walkup and down hills all day.
5 Dressing up as an Amish Farmer and re-selling vegetables bought at Golden Farms is always a “hoot” at the green market every Saturday morning in Park Slope.
4 We know that “ugly” train yard on Atlantic Avenue is actually ugly,and are not fooled by the “Develop don’t destroy Brooklyn” people.
3 Cousin Brucie and Albert Shanker can kick any of your celebrities asses.
2 We also use our Yoga mats to lie on when we steal the lithium batteries out of your hybrid cars.
1 Electro shock therapy is alive and well in Kensington and involves licking a live slot car track at the Buzz-a-rama for only twelve dollars an hour.